Category: Leadership

“You are where you are today because you stand on somebody’s shoulders. And wherever you are heading, you cannot get there by yourself. If you stand on the shoulders of others, you have a reciprocal responsibility to live your life so that others may stand on your shoulders. It’s the quid pro quo of life. We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give.” —Vernon Jordan

I thought a lot about my dad this Father’s Day weekend.  He passed away five years ago in June and I still miss him.  Like all fathers, he wasn’t perfect, but the lessons he taught me have had a profound impact on my life.  I wanted to share some of those lessons with you today.

Be an engineer – Plan ahead.  I can’t remember a single project that my dad took on that didn’t have a plan fully developed before he started.  Many times, he even had written diagrams and details.  He would be frustrated when we (especially my sister and I) would act without thinking ahead. It was his fundamental philosophy. He loved seeing how efficiently he could get something done.  Apply engineering discipline to problems, projects and even PLAY.  That’s right, he would have blueprints drawn up for our vacations (ok not exactly but they were fully planned).  But it all taught me the value of engineering, being thoughtful, solving problems with design, science and planning.

Work hard – My dad was never afraid to do the hard-manual work himself, mowing lawns, repairing his car, fixing something at home or working long hours to get a job out at the office.  While not unkind he had little patience for lazy people (or his own kids). He set the example with hands-on effort, blood, sweat and tears. 

Be considerate – My dad would say “leave things better than you found them”. When you can, go above and beyond when dealing with others.  If he borrowed something he expected to return it in better shape.  Being considerate was really about the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Don’t make others have to wait on you or clean up after you.  

Details matter – Craftsmanship and precision artistry should be in all things.  My dad would say, looking at a car, a tool, or anything else, “See how the seams line up?  Notice the precision of the gap.”  You can see and feel the quality.  If you were cleaning he would help you see if you missed a spot. Underneath?  Did you get the crevices?  Check the edges.  It taught me to have an eye for detail.

Enjoy each moment – You should savor and soak in life.  Laugh and smile.  Anytime we tried something new, my dad would provide instructions: slow down, observe, enjoy and taste all the flavor. That mindfulness approach to living life transcends all the chaos, turmoil and Coronavirus pandemic world we live in.  It reminds me to look for the good and breathe it in.  Appreciate each moment and celebrate life together.

Many of us can look back to others, our parents, grandparents, friends or mentors and think how their lessons and investments in us have made profound differences in our lives.  The foundational opportunities we were given are gifts, unmerited and incredibly powerful.  Not everyone receives the same investment or shoulders to stand on.   As Vernon Jordan eloquently put it, if we stand on the shoulders of others, we have a reciprocal responsibility to live our life so that others may stand on our shoulders.  It would be unjust for me to take what I have been given and not share it with others. 

What are you doing to help others in your family, on your team or in the world?  Don’t miss the great opportunity to pay it forward, encourage others, invest your talents, time, energy and resources in helping each other.  Plan to make a difference in someone else.   “We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give.” 

“Character is power. If you want to be powerful in the world, if you want to be strong, influential and useful, you can be so in no better way than by having a strong character.” —Booker T. Washington

I love tea.  Many of you know how much I like coffee, but you may not know how much I also enjoy tea.  I have tried many teas over the years but my current favorite is PG Tips, a popular British blend of Assam, Ceylon and Kenyan teas.  It’s interesting to me how they can all look and smell the same in the tea bag but can be so dramatically different after steeped.  You can’t know the flavor until the hot water pulls it out from the leaves.  So often in life we think we know our own character and what is core to our being, but it isn’t until the trials of life that we truly discover what is on the inside.  Like tea, our true character is revealed in the hot waters of difficulty, stress, pressure and challenges.  What we really are, what we have cultivated and nurtured on the inside spills out.  Difficulties don’t define us, but reveal the true us.   

We just crossed over the 3^rd month since the start of COVID, social distancing, face masks, safer at home remote work and now economic and social justice issues. How are you doing during these difficult times?  What is spilling out of you?  What have you learned about yourself and others?  Does it make you happy or make you want to change?  These are questions I’ve been asking myself.   I must confess, I feel like I’m a bit more like Decaffeinated Lipton than PG Tips.  I am too easily frustrated and irritated at things that don’t go my way.  I don’t always listen well (my family helped me discover this).  I should be more vocal and active in supporting my fellow human brothers and sisters.  I have work to do.

As the hot waters of difficulty and change washed over my family and team, I must say, I am incredibly proud. I have seen heroic characters surface in areas I didn’t expect, compassion, generosity, optimism and leadership spill out from all areas.  I have also seen a river of creative problem-solving.

Sure, there have been moments when tempers flare and struggles with despair set in, but even in those moments we have had good conversations.  I know that we all have a list of things we have discovered about ourselves and each other.  My challenge to you today is to not let this great opportunity go to waste.  As we do with all incidents, this is a great moment to study, learn and change.  Be understanding.  Be kind but also be brave. 

What’s in your tea cup?  What would you change about yourself?  Your character spills out and becomes a powerful agent to influence the world around you. You matter.  Your character matters.  What you are inside will be revealed during difficulties.  Take this opportunity to learn about yourself and cultivate a strong character so that when it spills out it becomes a powerful and useful influence on the world. 

As an leader who loves working with people, I often have the pleasure of hearing from individuals at all levels across the organization.  However, I am often amazed at how many people fail to communicate effectively with their leaders and others. They are terrible at scheduling meetings, pitching their idea or even asking for help. That got me to thinking, what advice would I give to anyone who needs to communicate with me or other leaders? I came up a list of 7 imperatives that I have learned from those who are the most successful.

1) Be contextual – I often have meeting invites or receive emails or presentations that provide little or no context. The senders may have mentioned it in a prior exchange and are usually saturated in the subject themselves, but most leaders are constantly task switching and juggling multiple ideas, projects, discussions, etc., and can struggle to make connections back to the senders requests. While we all want to be superhuman and always “know what you are talking bout”, the truth is that we have a finite capacity to retain more than a handful of contexts. Provide “helps” to onboard the leader and the rest of the audience quickly. That will help you succeed in getting the point across and if needed, a decision. I love seeing context in the meeting invite or email, or in the case of ad hoc meetings, and introductory summary for why he or she should listen to you.

2) Be brief – As with most leaders, I get several hundred emails, calls, texts and IMs per day. I must skim to survive. You should fashion your communications so that important ideas are highlighted. For written communication, make use of white space to help the eye quickly skim and do what you can to avoid unnecessary language. Can I suggest that executives aren’t the only ones who appreciate this and anyone who discovers this art of concise and effective communication will succeed in their career?

3) Be real – Leaders see through bogus accomplishments and self promotion. I’m most impressed with people who are respectful but direct, confident but humble, and candid but optimistic. They spend more time acknowledging others and the achievements of their team rather than their own.

4) Be kind – Good leaders have little tolerance for other leaders or managers who berate, belittle, or otherwise deal harshly with their team or others. Don’t expect to find a gracious audience with your own leader if you can’t deal respectfully, courteously and graciously with your own staff and partners. Treat others as you want to be treated.

5) Be honest – I’ve seen individuals and teams manipulate messages and presentations to get an executive decision or modify perception without providing all the details or slightly modifying the story. If you know something that could materially impact the decision process, why are you hiding it? Blocking signals to manipulate circumstances for your own benefit will backfire on you personally and in some cases have a significant impact on the company, brand, employees or customers. Be honest.

6) Be optimistic – Good leaders are not looking for everyone to be Pollyanna and will prefer a difficult truth to a comforting lie, but rarely are things without hope or some positive element. Bring a bias toward positive solutions, look for the opportunity in the disappointment, the lesson in a setback or wisdom in a failure. Business is about taking risks and moving forward from mistakes. Surround yourself with others who believe we can make a difference and impact the world for the better. Be an optimist.

7) Be proactive – Don’t just tell your leader what someone else needs to do, take action yourself. It’s great to have a plan to make something better and to bring that to the attention of your leader, but be prepared to be part of the solution!  Leaders are always on the lookout for a great idea with muscle. What are you doing to turn your great idea into reality? Get started.

This list is in no way comprehensive, but hopefully it will help you as it has helped me.