Be a Danny

Last Wednesday was my brother’s birthday. Well, technically he was really my stepbrother-in-law. While Danny was 15 years older than me and didn’t enter my life until I was almost a teen, I was proud to call him my older brother. He was a technical wizard. He introduced me to electronics, taught me how to solder, program and troubleshoot. I spent a few summers with him installing large HVAC systems in aerospace manufacturing plants. We built computers, framed houses, repaired cars, ran network cables, and even built an automated furnace control system using a PC and a game controller for the local glass plant (no joke!). Danny was more than a brother. He was a mentor. He took projects and took off work, just so he could spend time with me and teach me.

Eight years ago, we took Danny to Disneyland along with my sister, niece, and her family. We had a great time, but Danny grew tired quickly. We initially got him a scooter to ride, but he was too proud to use it at first. Eventually, the exhaustion won, he gave me his signature eye roll grimace and rested himself on the seat. The recently diagnosed cancer was wearing on him. He looked good and told me that he even felt good too, but the fatigue was overwhelming. My big brother was always active, always a helper. It was hard to see him succumb to the illness that was invading his body. We made wonderful memories that October, exploring the parks, laughing, reminiscing, and spending time together. Little did I know that it would be our last time. The cancer would soon take over. He would no longer be able to travel and all too soon, his body would give out.

I miss Danny, but I’m grateful for all the happy memories, the fun times and even the work times. He blessed me with his time, his talents, his wisdom, and his love. Our friends and family that surround us, shape us. They propel us, lift us up when we are down, and challenge us when we are behind. A light nudge. A lesson given. A sympathetic hug. They show us new things and remind us to cherish the old. Those small investments become the brick and mortar of our lives. We thrive because they cared. Danny was that for me. I’m forever grateful for his life, his impact, and the time we shared.

Who is your Danny? I suspect there is someone who has been a big impact in your life as well. If they are still with us, thank them. If like Danny, they have graduated from life, remember them. You don’t need to wait for Día de Muertos, you can start today. Pay respect, cherish, and celebrate their life and the blessing they were to you. And most of all, look for the opportunity for you to be a Danny to someone else. Pay if forward. Pour your time into others around you. We need you! Friends and family need you. You can make a difference in someone else. The time we have is short and precious. Don’t wait! Invest and create those memories today.

1984 – This was shortly after we met for the first time. I was 13 and eager to learn from my older brother.

Danny and Jason, 2004

Jason and Danny enjoying Disneyland on Oct. 19, 2016. This would be the last time we would spend together before his passing on December 3rd.